YDEV 506 #8

 This is such a powerful letter and was both frustrating and hopeful to read. For me, I think about this concept of "well-intentioned". This is a concept within this line of work that I hadn't thought too much about before starting this program. My first class in the YDEV MA program was the first time I had heard of the "white savior complex" and it really shifted the way I looked at everything I did and wanted. Does your intention matter if you are furthering harm? I may have argued yes in the past, although I don't align with that belief anymore. As Tuck says "are we certain that the benefits will outweigh the costs?" (p.410). I had a conversation with my partner recently after leaving Victoria's book release party. He was confused and said "Wait, it sounds like they are saying metal detectors in school are bad. Aren't they helping to protect the students?" I was (now with a year of YDEV knowledge in me) able to explain about the damaging messages of oppression, fear, and mistrust that can give to students, especially those of color who are also the population most likely to experience things like metal detectors or school based PO's. We talked a little about the School to Prison Pipeline, about the historical trauma between police and youth of color, about how most school shootings in the US are committed by white males even though white-majority schools are much less likely to have security measures like a metal detector in place. At surface level, it may look like it's promoting safety, but at what cost? Tuck, I think, would agree that the fear, re-victimization, and criminalization of any student in their place of education is NOT worth it. "Common sense tells us this is a good thing, but the danger in damage-centered research is that it is a pathologizing approach in which the oppression singularly defines a community." (p.413) Instead of simply labeling themselves as "well-intentioned" researchers and youth workers must proceed WITH intention - intention to do no further harm. I think that the "benefits" of deficit-based approach of research and youth work (often times fincancial, or short term based)  will never outweigh the lasting damage this can cause a community.  I know that this way of looking at what I do definitely helps me to see my true role in the lives of students. It helps me to understand I can be a catalyst for change in small, impactful ways, simply by refusing to allow others to judge my students in deficit-based ways. 

YDEV 506 #6

"In one sense, our study had no design. That is, we had no well-worked-out set of hypotheses to be tested, no data-gathering instruments purposely designed to secure information relevant to these hypotheses, no set of analytic procedures specified in advance. Insofar as the term “design” implies these features of elaborate prior planning, our study had none" . (p.215)

It was interesting reading this document by Maxwell (and taking this class) after having completed my capstone. It is actually really interesting to have first hand "suffered" through the process and am now hearing all the outlines and vocabulary to go along with what I did. For more than half the semester with this qualitative research project I was so anxious about the fact that it felt as though I had "no plan" and NO ONE was worried about it except me!! Hearing them tell me that it's okay and that it's part of the process felt somewhat frustrating at the time, although looking back it was an important lesson to learn. Reading much of the Maxwell selection it is paralleling so much of my own experience with this type of research design. It is quite a nerve wracking process to not know if all of the tedious work and long hours will amount to anything that usable or significant!

YDEV 506 #7

"The term reflexivity (Hammersley & Atkinson, 1995) is often used for this unavoidable mutual influence of the research participants and the researcher on each other." (Maxwell p.234)

I had never heard this term before and really enjoy both the word itself and also the definition supplied. I think this is such an important and interesting point of qualitative research. One that I experienced for myself both within the classroom setting/research and also in my qualitative capstone project. I find that often times this is somehow used to make qualitative studies seems less "legit" or harder to "qualify". However, I believe it's this relationship building that is both essential for and what makes qualitative studies so incredibly important. Observation can only take you so far. It is the conversing of the researcher and subjects that creates such meaningful and powerful results - an actual look into the thought processes behind the behaviors. I think this is even more important when it comes to working with and researching youth specifically. I know in my own classroom not just me relationships with children, but even just my presence itself could completely throw off the room or certain kiddos. Children, being so in tune to things many adults learn to ignore, are able to pick up on if you are frustrated, overwhelmed, scared, or sad. The more I was able to keep myself balanced and attuned to the space, the easier it was for my children to achieve the same calmness. Understanding my different relationships with different children was helpful in my daily "research". If there was a child that had a stronger relationship with another teacher I would often pass some of the observation off to that teacher. Often times as educators our own personalities, triggers, and mannerisms might not jive well with every child. Understanding this is important and delegating that child's "research" to a teacher who understands them better can bring better and more accurate results. During my capstone I interviewed several educators and parents. Most of whom I'd had a previous relationship with, some I had not. I noticed that my interviews with those I already knew ended up feelings and looking very different from those I did already know. Not to say either seemed to be "Better', but certainly different. I found it difficult to know if my relationships with interviewees were affecting the kind of answers given, either negatively or positively. I thought about how much this small thing, although "unavoidable" as Maxwell points out, could really impact a qualitative study. Maxwell states that "eliminating the actual influence of the researcher is impossible (Hammersley & Atkinson, 1995), and the goal in a qualitative study is not to eliminate this influence but to understand it and to use it productively" (Maxwell p.243). I used the strategy of "respondent validation" during my capstone to try and make sure I was accurately understanding and comprehending the intention of the interviewee regardless of how well I knew them.