YDEV 506 #5

 Well, this post (and semester) is a little bit different for me because of my funky timeline! I had already completed and presented a capstone project when I started this final semester of my journey through the YDEV MA program. I thought I'd take some time to reflect on some take-aways from my experience. First of all, I feel really lucky to have gone through the capstone process with the group that I did. They were some of the most intelligent, open-minded, and beautiful humans I've had the pleasure of being with! I really can't imagine going through the process without them or our professor, Besenia. On the other hand, I think it definitely highlighted some of my insecurities along the way. Along with immense pride in my fellow classmates I always felt a lot of internal pressure (some healthy, some maybe not) to do something "great". I wanted to do something equally as meaningful and impactful, while never feeling like I could quite live up. I think this was a large realization I've had moving through this program - my propensity to "cut myself off at the knee". As a neuro-divergent learner I figured out early on that if I didn't quite put my whole self into something, I didn't have to ever feel inferior or incapable. It seems to me that the same goes for me finding my passion (capstone, career, or beyond). I have always just done what I was naturally good at - taking care of others. But looking around and seeing so many people in the capstone process with such a specific purpose and goal in mind felt so daunting.... and invigorating. I wouldn't have been able to see all these things in myself without being surrounded by such inspiring energy. For good or bad, I did prove to myself one thing during the capstone process - I am capable. I never would have thought when I was a younger student that I'd be capable of going through a Master's program, no matter writing a 20+ page document on my own research process. Overall, I'm thankful that I made the decision to do my capstone a little early and I'm thankful to continue growing with this current amazing class and  to see all the amazing and inspirational things they'll go on to do! As for myself, I'm excited to take this semester to figure out what direction I'll go in next. On the precipice of a huge transition in my life, I'm ready to stop "cutting myself off at the knees" and finding a way to create a life that's meaningful and energizing!